Two Steps to See and Be Seen


A question that I've gotten on more than one occasion since announcing the See You. Be You. 3-month group coaching program is: "Why on earth would I want to see and be seen?"

Ah yes indeed. Why? Why would it be good to see yourself more clearly and to allow yourself to be seen more clearly?

Here is the thing about "seeing." Seeing is awareness. It is about being awake. Noticing.

But so often we notice and then we judge. We are aware and then we beat ourselves up. Or, worse yet, we let ourselves be seen by others and feel judged by them.

I get it. I've been there. So many of us have.

There are lots of reasons to stay in the shadows. To hide the important stuff that lives in our hearts. The more we share of ourselves, the more we allow for the possibility that others might notice. And for many of us, that is just plain scary.


Well, maybe. But what if didn’t have to be this way?

Let me start with the reasons that you would not want to be seen.

  • Putting yourself out there makes you more susceptible to failing or falling when things don’t go as you planned.
  • Feeling all the feels is scary. Fear feels easier because you are used to it.
  • The stories of your past feel comfortable, even if they don’t serve you. You know what to expect when you live with your habits and patterns.

Does any of this ring true?

Yup, I get that too.

But what if you could flip these around? What if you could feel supported – and take small, turtle steps that lead to more clarity, more understanding, and more love? Because don’t we all crave love?

What if seeing allowed you to smile at yourself in the mirror?

What if being seen helped you deepen your connection to yourself and to others?

What if seeing gave you the chance to finally take action on the nudge that has been in your heart for longer than you’d like to admit?

What if seeing clearly allowed you to live with intention instead of just “existing” in survival mode?

What if being seen meant that you could celebrate with your hands in the air, all the big and little moments that fill up your inner gas tank?

What if seeing and being seen allowed you to be guided by your heart instead of your thoughts – which in turn helped you live in the NOW?

Ok fine, maybe there is something to this seeing and being seen. But how do you go about it when it feels much easier to stay hidden, behind the clutter, behind the computer, behind the to-do lists of life?

I’m glad you asked.

Two steps to see and be seen (that you can try right now)

Declutter your physical space to declutter your soul.

Maybe you’ve heard of the KonMari method of organizing and simplifying your life? Author Marie Kondo guides readers to “clear their clutter and enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home--and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.” But why? Why does tidying up your physical space matter for your mind and body?

When you have clutter whether it is literal or figurative, you have less space for what matters. For what wants to emerge. There is more room for the important stuff to hide.

That clutter keeps us from creating the space in our lives for what we DO crave. All of the “stuff” demands a level of attention that prevents us from devoting energy to the parts of yourself that need to be nourished and cultivated.

You’ve probably heard people talk about manifesting the life they want. But what it all the stuff that you are holding on to – in your physical spaces is physically preventing the universe from being able to deliver what you are trying to manifest?

A shelf. A desk. A room. A garage. A closet. Your kitchen sink or counter. It doesn’t really matter what you de-clutter as long as you do it with intention. For example, instead of zoning out as you go through your closet – what if you went about the decluttering and repeated the mantra: I clear away what doesn’t serve me to make room for what wants to be seen.

When we create more space in our physical world, we give our inner self the opportunity to create more space inside the deepest parts of our hearts and body. It is subtle at first. Suddenly there is space for hope. There is room to cultivate gratitude instead of judgment. It becomes possible to visualize the life we crave. I’ll share a secret with you. Decluttering has become an almost daily practice for me. I take a few minutes to create space whenever I feel like I’m spinning or going towards a rabbit hole of doubt.

Release what is keeping you small and hidden to see more clearly.

Another way to create space to see and be seen is to name what is keeping you small – and then release it.

Think of releasing as de-cluttering for the mind. We tell ourselves stories – hundreds of them – every single day. Stories of what we “need” to do. Stories of what we “should” do. We fill our planners and calendars with tasks that feel productive. We might even have a few items on our list that make our heart happy, but those moments are overshadowed by the barrage of noise.

So make a list. You’ve probably got a list of “not enough” stories that you tell yourself over and over again. Write those down. All of them. Think about the judgments or the fears that whisper to you when doubt creeps in. Write those down too. Think about the perceptions and comparisons that float through your mind when you look in the mirror. Write down the ones that don’t serve you.

Then, once you’ve got them named – release them. Think about it as no longer letting yourself being available for those stories or thoughts. My favorite way to release what is keeping me small is throwing my "things" into a fire. I like to write one item down at a time on small pieces of paper and read each one before I throw it into the fire. You can use a fireplace or a firepit. No access to fire? Light a candle and say what you are releasing into the flame.

Will you let yourself see and be seen?

Giving yourself permission to see and be seen doesn’t happen overnight. It is a practice. It requires willingness. To fall. To celebrate. To get hurt. To smile. To love and forgive yourself.

So try it. Declutter something around you with intention. Make a list of what you want to release. Create space for what wants to emerge from within you.

You’ve got this. I know you have it in you. And I’m here for support if you’d like a guide.

Want even more support to See You. Be You? Join me for an intimate small-group coaching experience that launches in January with an in-person retreat in Kiawah Island, South Carolina.


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